Undisclosed - Zach Bo1inger

Humor Archive

I circulated a list of Northeastern University's Best Pickup Lines when I was in school. Somebody send these retorts back to me.

When Pickup Lines Go Bad

  1. Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your pants!
    No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole in there now.
  2. Haven't we met before?
    Yes, I'm <your name>, the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.
  3. I'll have to think about that, thinking makes me tired, when I'm tired I want to sleep, not make love, so let's not, okay?

  4. So, wanna go back to my place?
    Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
  5. Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you. (In reply to No, thank you).

  6. I'd like to call you. What's your number?
    -It's in the phone book.
    But I don't know your name.
    -That's in the phone book too.
  7. Wha'dya say to a little fuck?
    Go away, little fuck.
  8. How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Unfertilized, fuck off!
  9. I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
Back to the Archive