Undisclosed - Zach Bo1inger
Humor Archive
The Single Woman's Language Guide:
How To Translate Guyspeak
| When He Says | He Really Means |
|---|---|
| It is just orange juice, try it. | 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head. |
| She's kind of cute | I want to bang her till I am blue |
| I don't know if I like her | She won't blow me |
| I need you | My hand is tired |
| I had her | I had (wet dreams about) her all week |
| I really want to get to know you better | ...so I can tell my friends about it |
| How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? | Is my penis really that small? |
| You're the only girl I've ever cared about | You are the only girl who has not rejected me |
| I want you back | ...for tonight anyway |
| We've been through so much together | If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity |
| I miss you so much | I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good |
| No, I do not want to dance right now | Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on |
| The break-up should not start for another 24 hours | I want to have sex a few more times |
| I am different from all the other guys | I am not circumsized |
| Do you have the time? | to go to bed |
| Hello | Let's cut the talk and go have sex. |
| How are you? | in bed, I mean |
| I'd like a discreet relationship. | I want sex, but I'm married. |
| I'll be out of town for a few days. | I'll be spending time with the wife. |
| I'm a novelist. | I have 10 unpublished books. |
| I'm coming off a long relationship. | My wife is divorcing me. |
| I'm consulting. | I'm looking for a job. |
| I'm divorced. | I just slipped off my wedding ring. |
| I'm in television. | I fix them. |
| I'm involved in banking. | I'm a bank guard. |
| I'm self-employed. | I just got fired. |
| I'm sorry I flirted with your sister. | I'm sorry I got caught. |
| I'm thinking of relocating. | I can't find a job locally in this town. |
| I can't leave my wife just yet..soon. | Be patient forever. |
| I enjoy reading. | Playboy and Penthouse. |
| I have the Midas touch. | I install mufflers. |
| I like a woman who is intelligent. | As long as she acts like I'm smarter. |
| I love opera. | I want sex, but I've seen an opera once. |
| I play the market. | Safeway I work high up in an executive. |
| I work with computers. | I'm a cashier at a gas station. |
| Looking for a satisfying relationship. | I want sex. |
| My business is really hot right now! | I hand out towels in a steam room. |
| My job keeps me running. | I'm a messenger. |
| My wife and I are separated. | She's at home and I'm here at the bar. |
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