Undisclosed - Zach Bo1inger

Humor Archive


flowchart for proper drinking
                         ,adPPYba,    
                        a8"     "8a  
                        8b START d8 
                        "8a     a8"
                         `"YbbdP"'
                             |
                             |
                     ________V________
                    |                 |
                    |                 |
                    | Take Money from |
                    | Wallet and Hide |
                    |    In Shoe      |
                    |                 |
                    |_________________|
                             |
                             |
                     ________V________ 
                    |                 |
                    |                 |
                    |                 |
                    |    Enter bar    |<---------<
                    |                 |          |
                    |                 |          |
                    |_________________|          |
                             |                   |
                             V                   |
                           ,% %,           ______|________ 
                         ,%     %,        |               |
                       ,%   Is    %,   NO |   Leave bar   |
                     ,%   someone   %,    |               |
                    <  about to buy   >-->|   for five    |
                     '%   a round?  %'    |               |
                       '%         %'      |    minutes    |
                         '%     %'        |_______________|
                            'v'
                             | YES
                     ________V________
                    |                 |
                    |                 |
                    |   Join group    |
                    |                 |
                    |     at bar      |
                    |                 |
                    |_________________|
                             |
                     ________V________
                    |                 |
                    |                 |
                    |      Accept     |
       >----------->|                 |<----------------------< 
       |            |      drink      |                       |
       |            |                 |                       |
       |            |_________________|                       |
       |                     |                                |
       |             ________V________                        |
       |            |                 |                       |
       |            |    Drink two    |                       |
       |            |                 |                       |
       |       >--->|    mouthfuls    |                       |
       |       |    |                 |                       |
       |       |    |    of beer      |                       |
       |       |    |_________________|                       |
       |       |             |                                |
       |       |             V                                |
       |       |           ,% %,           _________________  |
       |       |         ,%     %,        |                 | |
       |       |       ,%   Is    %,      |                 | |
       |       |     ,%    room     %, YES|    Lay down     | |
       |       |    <    revolving?   >-->|                 | |
       |       |     '%             %'    |   under table   | |
       |       |       '%         %'      |                 | |
       |       |         '%     %'        |_________________| |
       |       |            'v'                    |          |
       |       |             | NO                  |          |
       |       |             V                     V          |
       |       |           ,% %,               ,adPPYba,      |
       |       |         ,%     %,            a8"     "8a     |
       |       |       ,%         %,          8b STOP  d8     |YES
       |       | NO  ,%   Is glass  %,        "8a     a8"     |
       |       <----<      nearly     >        `"YbbdP"'    ,% %,
       |             '%    empty?   %'                    ,%     %,
       |               '%         %'                    ,%         %,
       |                 '%     %'                    ,%   Does he   % 
       |                    'v'                   <--<      buy a    %
       |                     | YES                |   '%   round?    %
       |             ________V________         NO |     '%         %'
       |            |                 |           |       '%     %'
       |            |    Leave bar    |           >------V   'v'
       |            |                 |                  |    ^
       |            |    for five     |<----------<      V____|______
       |            |                 |           |     |            |
       |            |    minutes      |           |     | Insist it  |
       |            |_________________|           |     |            |
       |                     |                    |     |   is his   |
       |             ________V________            |     |            |
       |            |                 |           |     |   round    |
       |            |                 |           |     |____________|
       |            |    Reenter      |           |           ^
       |            |                 |           |      _____|______
       |            |      bar        |           |     |            |
       |            |                 |           |     |   Choose   |
       |            |_________________|           |     |    most    |
   YES |                     |                    |     |  drunken   |
       |                     V                    |     | member of  |
     ,% %,                 ,% %,                  |     |   group    |
   ,%     %,             ,% Has %,                |     |____________|
 ,%   Is    %,         ,% a more  %,              |           ^
%  someone    %, YES ,%  affluent   %,            |      _____|______
%  about to     ><--<  group formed   >           |     |            |
%  buy another%'     '%   at the    %'            |     |  Examine   |
 '% round?  %'         '%  bar?   %'              |     | wallet and |
   '%     %'             '%     %'                |     |  lament    |
      'v'                   'v'                   |     |  lack of   |
       |                     |                    | NO  |   cash     |
    NO |                     V NO                 |     |____________|      
       |                   ,% %,                ,% %,         ^
       |                 ,%     %,            ,%     %,       |
       |               ,%   Has   %,        ,%  Have   %,     |
       |             ,%   old group %, NO ,%   you now   %,   |
       >-----------><    bought new   >-><   now left the  >--^YES
                     '%    round?   %'    '%  bar three  %'   
                       '%         %'        '%  times? %'     
                         '%     %'            '%     %'
                            'v'                  'v'

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