Undisclosed - Zach Bo1inger
Humor Archive
Oh, The Hazards of Bricklaying
(the following is a bricklayerUs accident report printed in a newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers Compensation Board.)
Dear Sir;
I am writing in response to your request for additional information on the accident reporting form. I put Rpoor planningS as the cause of my accident. You said I should explain more fully and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work. I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of brick left over . Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which, fortunately, was attached to the side of the building, at the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at the ground level, I went to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding in a downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section III of the accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground -- and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. That accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lesson my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind, and let go of the rope.
Sincerely
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CROYD CRENSEN
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