Undisclosed - Zach Bo1inger

Humor Archive


Beating around the Bush:
192 ways to say "I love you"

1.   doinkin'
2.   fucking
3.   rompin'
4.   doing the dirty deed
5.   going at it
6.   popping her
7.   nailing her
8.   going in her
9.   doing it
1O.  slipping her the big salami
11.  boffing
12.  slammin' her
13.  pumping
14.  humping
15.  holding her over
16.  yielding to pleasures of the flesh
17.  sleeping with her
18.  doing her
19.  thrusting your purple headed warrior into her nut pudding
2O.  going fishing
21.  getting to know her
22.  gettin' some
23.  dogging her
24.  lovin' and leavin' her
25.  knocking the boots
26.  getting her in the sack
27.  gettin' some pussy
28.  coming in her box
29.  the rite of manhood
3O.  going to grandma's house
31.  scoring
32.  getting her to put out
33.  pushin' the cushions
34.  blessing the bedposts
35.  making babies
36.  doing the wild thing
37.  going to the candy store
38.  sending the dog to heaven
39.  getting in her pants
4O.  screwing
41.  fucking like minks
42.  buying girl scout cookies
43.  playing pattycake
44.  gettin' busy
45.  banging her
46.  knocking her up (if she gets pregnant)
47.  hot beef injection
48.  having sex
49.  having intercourse
5O.  stuffing her
51.  getting laid
52.  donking
53.  setting the swimmers free
54.  horizontal bop
55.  horizontal tango
56.  getting muff
57.  muff diving
58.  popping the cherry
59.  pussy pumping
6O.  screwing the pooch
61.  riding the bologna pony
62.  rocking her world
63.  giving her what every female deserves
64.  chompin'
65.  becoming one with her
66.  makin' G-forces
67.  getting it on
68.  getting the pink
69.  visit to the cave doctor
7O.  introducing the bald avenger
71.  going for a roll in the hay
72.  putting your snake in the grass
73.  frompin'
74.  frolicking in the bed of love
75.  working the construction site
76.  shakin' the bootie
77.  hitting a homerun
78.  parting the valley
79.  breaking the seam
8O.  planting seeds
81.  lobbing the loins
82.  preparing the fields
83.  playing the violin
84.  watching curly sue
85.  blowing a load
86.  checking the oil
87.  jammin'
88.  putting a twinkle in her eye
89.  putting your twinkie in her pie
9O.  having your way with her
91.  making her squirm with your worm
92.  to fling with her
93.  poking her
94.  find her, fuck her, forget her
95.  horizontal hoola
96.  doing the nasty
97.  sexing her up
98.  party in the panties
99.  rape
1OO. gang bang
1O1. tasting her cherry
1O2. rounding the bases
1O3. getting it on
1O4. hitting the twizzit
1O5. porking her
1O6. sticking it in the bearded clam
1O7. ripping up the vertical smile
1O8. riding her like the Kentucky Derby
1O9. Hammertime
11O. Getting some bush and heading for the mountains
111. waxing her
112. Exploring death valley
113. burying the bone
114. hitting the jackpot
115. Johnson insertion
116. stoufing
117. bumping uglies
118. twisting missiles
119. Nirvana
12O. hell
121. rocking the van
122. spreadin' the uprights
123. making squishy
124. whoopi
125. nooki
126. licking the plate clean
127. washing the window of love
128. dogging the dog
129. plowing the driveway
13O. digging up the backyard
131. drivin' the dirt highway
132. fudge packin'
133. playing doctor
134. snorkeling
135. walking the dog
136. bum chummin'
137. putting the mustard on the hot dog
138. checkin' out the Grand Canyon
139. gettin' funky
14O. getting play
141. makin' music
142. showing off the trophies
143. ridin' the pooch
144. stuffin' the turkey
145. wind surfing at Mount Baldy
146. spelunking
147. putting your log in her wood stove
148. climbing the pine tree
149. belly bumping
15O. doing the doggie
151. talking Italian
152. banging
153. getting the job done
154. mating
155. riding the snake
156. boinking
157. riding in the tunnel of love
158. rear entry
159. taxin'
16O. doin' the grind
161. breaking in the bed
162. putting a notch in the bedpost
163. giving her a wet willie
164. fillin' the hole
165. the German helmet wash
166. shakin' the bacon
167. bagging the beef
168. bumrush
169. getting your hand in the cookie jar
17O. giving every lovin' spoonful
171. getting the noodle wet
172. makin' her bleed
173. "see you Monday" in her "see you next Tuesday"
174. breaking the curl
175. riding the wave
176. sitting on the love spike
177. giving her a pearl necklace
178. horizontal refreshments
179. breaking the bank
18O. ordering prime rib
181. gettin' stuck in the Bermuda Triangle
182. a trip to the rainforest
183. making the flowers bloom
184. exploring the black hole
185. mowing the lawn
186. launching the heat seeking moisture missile
187. Amtrakin'
188. wham, bam, thank you ma'am
189. getting joined at the waist
19O. stuffin' the muffin
191. copulating
192. making love

mail additions to pa_zrb@splinter.coe.neu.edu

Various Ways To Say "Having Sex"

Bang
Be the rug doctor
Beaver shooting
Been ridin' broomsticks since she was fifteen
Bend her over and load her like a shotgun
Bit-o-the-ol'-in-out
Bite the bearded clam
Bob the knob
Boink
Bone Smuggling
Bopping
Bottom knockin'
Bounce the Brillo
Break her open like a shotgun
Buff the helmet
Buffing
Bumping uglies
Bury the hatchet
Butter her muffin
Carpet munching
Check her oil
Clean the carpet
Come to my bed and let's practice parallel parking
Cuttin' a slice
Dance the buttock jig
Dent the egg
Dip your wick
Do it
Do the horizontal mambo
Do the Wild Thing
Doing it
Doing the nasty
Dueling Bedsprings
Eat at the Y
Feed the bear
Fenorking
Fit pipe
Flat Dancing
Fooling around
Fuck
Get a leg over
Get your bone honed
Get your noodle wet
Gettin' Busy
Getting you ashes hauled
Getting your bunny boiled
Getting your canoe shellacked
Getting your horns filed
Getting your weiner wet
Give her the time
Giving her a pearl necklace
Go like a rat up a rhododendron
Goin' horizontal
Hammerin'
Hawaiian Muscle Fuck (titty-fuck)
He hasn't had his tires rotated in months
Hide and shriek
Hide the HotDog
Hide the sausage
Hiding the salami
Hobble
Hose
I wanna bust that body
I'm having lunch at the Y.  It's a box lunch - furburgers!
I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe
Lay cable
Lay pipe
Lay the hen
Let's go "Whale some babes"!
Make it
Man, I'd fuck her like a tied yard-dog
Muff dive
Negotiate the forested chasm
Park his car in her garage
Pin her legs back like a Safeway chicken
Play hide the salami
Playing doctor
Poke the yolk
Poking the sushi
Poking the whisker biscuit
Pop you c==k
Pump
Put his snake through her grass
Ride the skin bus into Tuna town
Ring the cash register
Romping
Rope a poke
Saturate the ferrod
Screw
Sharpen the pencil
She hasn't had her ticket punched since Ike carried his own golf clubs
Sink the Pink
Slam her clam
Slam some Ham
Slice the muffin
Slip her the hot beef injection
Slip her the tubesteak!
Slip her the whale
Slip the Salami
Snake her
So horny I have to stand on my hands to pee
Some nookie-nookie honey
Splooge, spunk, gack, splooey
Stoke her yoke
Strop one's beak
Stuff her muff
Stuff the bunny
Swallow the swan
Tame her shrew
Tap your tailpipe
The beast with two backs
The nasty
Tube steak boogie
Varnish one's cane
Wax your candle
Work the hairy oracle

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